It is funny how life changes a person. Experiences in just living life start to form and mold us into who we start to define ourselves as. Realizing that the experiences driven by fear are not the things we choose to define us but the ones we let define us. With this realization we start to let go of our fears as creations of our imagination. Because fear is all in the mind. It is something that has been apart of our survival as a species to survive. Fear is the fight or flight response. Now, don't get me wrong danger and death are real but the fear behind it we create that. The more we fight that chemical response the less we are ruled and defined by our fears.
I have many fears, fear of failure. This has held me back in so many ways. Being an analytic person always looking for the outcome before committing to anything. In life this is not always possible to do, as life changes all the time like water. Failure is apart of growth and life. I have to realize that it is okay to fail and know that that is not the end of something, but and opportunity to do it better. My greatest strength is also fear of failure. I need to learn to rule by my strengths and not by my fears and weaknesses. In doing so I may fail but I will not fail in the grandest sense. Continuously learning how to be better.
I fear being the cause of someones pain. This is a very sharp sword. You can compromise everything you are but censoring yourself. Lie to people to keep them from pain and causing you to lose who you are in the process and hurt the person you care about even more. This has always been hard for me as I feel very empathetic towards peoples emotions. Learning I can't make everyone happy all the time is a fear I am working very hard to conquer.
Fear of being happy. Letting things go so that you do not hold on to pain and sorrow to allow your self to be happy in the moment you are in and in the life you are living. I hold on to so many things analyze them and try to glean knowledge from them to the point I make my self unhappy.
Fear of standing in the light, being an object for examination, being viewed as flawed. This is just a ridiculous as everyone is flawed.
Fear can manage your life or you can recognize it and manage your fears. I am working on managing my fears. I want to be in control of my life changes and my reactions to them.
Be who you are not what your fears say you are and let life be change you into what you want.
Thursday, June 26, 2014
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Thoughts & feelings on " The Bhagavad Gita"
This is a continuous blog from the start of "The Bhagavad Gita" to the end. As I travel through the words of the Gita I will share my thoughts and feelings on the subject matter. I will mini post with dates on when I write about what I have read.
8/23/09
I a reading the introduction which is hard to get through because of its dissertation like style it is written in.
8/24/09
Chapter 1
In this chapter we see the conflict of one's Ego. Clouded by his sense of justice he does not see what or who he is battling until he looks at the opponent who is filled with his family and friends. He realizes that it is not a fight for justice but that of the interests of himself, his brothers, and his party, for the possession and enjoyment and rule.
Reading further I come to the point where I am looking at the situation in the Gita and relating it to struggles that I face internally. The battle that rages in all of us with one's Ego and Egoless, or you could say one's pride or vision of what is right.
"It is to have the soul free from craving and attachment, but free from the attachment to inaction as well as from the egoistic impulse to action, free from attachment to the forms of virtue as well as from the attraction to sin. It is to be rid of the 'I-ness' and the 'my-ness' so as to live in the one Self and act in the one Self."
What is it to live in the one Self I wondered? Is it to live inward with oneself and be only concerned with one's own self and nothing more.
"To live in the Self is not to dwell for oneself alone in the Infinite immersed and oblivious of all things in that ocean of impersonal self-delight; but it is to live as the Self and in the Self equal in this embodiments and beyond all embodiments. This is the integral knowledge."
As I read a long we find that to live in the Self is not to be alone but to live as equal to all things not to place ourselves above anything or anyone. To live in the Self what is needed? I believe the faith to see what is behind our own veil of ethical illusion, the illusion of self-righteousness. This is needed before one can reconcile the storm that rages with in each of us. In this world there is chaos all around us and we need to realise that the Divine is all of these he is death and life, Destroyer and the friend. We must say to ourselves " Though Thou slay me, Yet will I trust in Thee." that is true faith in which you trust the most in the one that can take away from you what is most important at any time. Not only is that true with faith in the Divine but that of lovers and friends. But, why is it easier to have faith in what is tangible like lovers and friends, and not that of the Divine, God, the One, the Everything? Is it because that we trust our eyes over our heart, our knowing? Do we push what we feel to be true aside for what we see and know to be true with our mind? When we can start to feel what is right and not discard it we can find peace and start to live in the Self.
8/23/09
I a reading the introduction which is hard to get through because of its dissertation like style it is written in.
8/24/09
Chapter 1
In this chapter we see the conflict of one's Ego. Clouded by his sense of justice he does not see what or who he is battling until he looks at the opponent who is filled with his family and friends. He realizes that it is not a fight for justice but that of the interests of himself, his brothers, and his party, for the possession and enjoyment and rule.
Reading further I come to the point where I am looking at the situation in the Gita and relating it to struggles that I face internally. The battle that rages in all of us with one's Ego and Egoless, or you could say one's pride or vision of what is right.
"It is to have the soul free from craving and attachment, but free from the attachment to inaction as well as from the egoistic impulse to action, free from attachment to the forms of virtue as well as from the attraction to sin. It is to be rid of the 'I-ness' and the 'my-ness' so as to live in the one Self and act in the one Self."
What is it to live in the one Self I wondered? Is it to live inward with oneself and be only concerned with one's own self and nothing more.
"To live in the Self is not to dwell for oneself alone in the Infinite immersed and oblivious of all things in that ocean of impersonal self-delight; but it is to live as the Self and in the Self equal in this embodiments and beyond all embodiments. This is the integral knowledge."
As I read a long we find that to live in the Self is not to be alone but to live as equal to all things not to place ourselves above anything or anyone. To live in the Self what is needed? I believe the faith to see what is behind our own veil of ethical illusion, the illusion of self-righteousness. This is needed before one can reconcile the storm that rages with in each of us. In this world there is chaos all around us and we need to realise that the Divine is all of these he is death and life, Destroyer and the friend. We must say to ourselves " Though Thou slay me, Yet will I trust in Thee." that is true faith in which you trust the most in the one that can take away from you what is most important at any time. Not only is that true with faith in the Divine but that of lovers and friends. But, why is it easier to have faith in what is tangible like lovers and friends, and not that of the Divine, God, the One, the Everything? Is it because that we trust our eyes over our heart, our knowing? Do we push what we feel to be true aside for what we see and know to be true with our mind? When we can start to feel what is right and not discard it we can find peace and start to live in the Self.
First Post!
The first post! Well I guess that I will use this post to kind of let you know what I will be blogging about. I will have posts on different aspects of my life as I post. I will be posting blogs on books I am reading, life situations, thoughts, jokes, friends & family, reviews on entertainment I partake in, and journeys I embark on. I look forward to all for you to follow me along on my journey through life.
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