Life Changes

It is funny how life changes a person. Experiences in just living life start to form and mold us into who we start to define ourselves as. Realizing that the experiences driven by fear are not the things we choose to define us but the ones we let define us. With this realization we start to let go of our fears as creations of our imagination. Because fear is all in the mind. It is something that has been apart of our survival as a species to survive. Fear is the fight or flight response. Now, don't get me wrong danger and death are real but the fear behind it we create that. The more we fight that chemical response the less we are ruled and defined by our fears.

I have many fears, fear of failure. This has held me back in so many ways. Being an analytic person always looking for the outcome before committing to anything. In life this is not always possible to do, as life changes all the time like water. Failure is apart of growth and life. I have to realize that it is okay to fail and know that that is not the end of something, but and opportunity to do it better. My greatest strength is also fear of failure. I need to learn to rule by my strengths and not by my fears and weaknesses. In doing so I may fail but I will not fail in the grandest sense. Continuously learning how to be better.

I fear being the cause of someones pain. This is a very sharp sword. You can compromise everything you are but censoring yourself. Lie to people to keep them from pain and causing you to lose who you are in the process and hurt the person you care about even more. This has always been hard for me as I feel very empathetic towards peoples emotions. Learning I can't make everyone happy all the time is a fear I am working very hard to conquer.

Fear of being happy. Letting things go so that you do not hold on to pain and sorrow to allow your self to be happy in the moment you are in and in the life you are living. I hold on to so many things analyze them and try to glean knowledge from them to the point I make my self unhappy.

Fear of standing in the light, being an object for examination, being viewed as flawed. This is just a ridiculous as everyone is flawed.

Fear can manage your life or you can recognize it and manage your fears. I am working on managing my fears. I want to be in control of my life changes and my reactions to them.

Be who you are not what your fears say you are and let life be change you into what you want.